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Hey Canada, You Might Want to Reconsider Being So Polite About Climate Change

In the wake of the NDP’s new majority government in Alberta, Steve Williams, the CEO of Suncor, announced that he believes climate change is happening and the right way to address it is a carbon tax that applies to both producers and consumers.

Well it’s pretty obvious what happened here. Steve Williams read Naomi Klein’s “This Changes Everything” and was so inspired by her vision of a just, sustainable future that he set short-term considerations of profit aside for his deeply held moral convictions, in preparation for his eventual ascension unto heaven. Or maybe there’s something else going on…

Maybe the oil industry knows that funding climate denial is a losing battle, so they’re falling back to their next line of defense. “Yes, okay, climate change is happening, but how can we pretend to care in a way that costs us the least amount of money? And can we fit the word green into it? Or maybe a picture of a baby lemur?"

Corporations don’t have morals, they’re profit-making robots. They’re run by people, and those people are often perfectly nice. But if they don’t work the controls properly, the robot will crap them into the unemployment line.

I know Canadians are supposed to be polite, but if we’re serious about doing our part to avoid catastrophic climate change, we should consider being a lot less polite to the oil industry. They’ve shown really bad manners by spending millions to block climate action to protect their billions in profits, so maybe we shouldn’t focus on whatever solution offends them the least.

Maybe it’s time to be straight up rude and uncivilized and take some of those billions and spend them on creating jobs in renewable energy, to make the transition we’re way overdue on. Or we could create a new robot to go back in time and terminate James Watt and Henry Ford. Both solid options I think.

Scott has written and performed comedy for TV (Conan, Picnicface, This Hour Has 22 Minutes), radio (This is That), and…

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